Kim's Story
by seeinglikeHeis
Summary: This is a story dedicated to Kim. It follows her journal entries to her deceased mother up until the point that Jared imprints on her.
1. Chapter 1

******Author's Note: I don't own Stephanie Meyer's characters. I just wanted to write a fanfiction for Kim, because she is one of the characters that no one writes for. In this fanfiction, she is writing in a journal to keep her deceased mother updated about her life. I don't know if I have all of the timeline right for the point that Jared imprints on her, but I tried to be accurate with canon. I just imagine that Kim is one of those girls that kept a really nice journal. Just picture Kim sitting in class next to Jared, doodling "I love Jared" in her journal while he is oblivious to her total existence. I didn't date the journal entries.**

I hate reservation life.

All I really want to do is leave here.

"Our people used to be great whalers," You used to always tell me.

As if whoever came before us connects to anything this stupid tribe does today. Mostly, everyone could care less about the ancient ways or history of the tribe. A lot of people here are starting to become more modern, Mom.

It just sucks that we're all basically living in poverty.

I have to go over to my aunts' and cousins' houses just to watch tv, because the rain keeps flooding into my room and messing up everything.

Dad says that he will fix everything, but I doubt that he will.

The only thing he ever really does is drink beer and fish.

I'm left home a lot by myself, Mom.

I don't mind it. Most of the time it is good to get away from the constant people that hoard my life.

People like my aunts and cousins. My aunts always want me to baby sit for them.

I do it, but only because I feel like I have to do what they tell me.

They think they run my life.

I hate it.

Oh well.

The only reason I am even writing in this journal is because I miss you, Mom.

I wish you were here.

Dad told me that you wanted me to make something out of my life.

Well I am trying.

I really am.

I study hard at school.

I just can't wait to get off the rez.

I guess I should tell you about my school life.

That is a lot better than life with Dad's crazy sisters.

Sorry, Mom.

You probably know they are crazy, too.

At Tribal school, there is a whole lot of drama.

I think that you'd be happy to know that I am not in any of it.

I mostly stay to myself, but I do have a friend named Shelby that loves to get herself into messes.

She's pregnant and just dropped out.

I miss her a lot, especially now that she is moving to live with her Dad on the Makah rez.

Her kid's father is some guy she met at Port Angeles.

I don't have any boyfriends yet.

But...there is this one guy in my math class.

His name is Jared.

I made the mistake of telling Aunt Krissy that I thought he was cute, and she started telling me how she knows his mom and his aunties. So, now I am debating on comitting suicide, because I know she has a big mouth and I don't want her telling all of my business to everyone on the rez.

I just wanted to figure out if Jared and I were related to one another in anyway.

I don't need to have a crush on my cousin.

Thankfully, Auntie Krissy told me that we're not cousins.

But I still don't want her to say anything to his family, because I haven't even really TALKED to him yet.

We used to be in the same class when we were younger, but I never thought he was cute until now.

He hangs out with a lot of the kids that are a part of drama in school. They never listen to teachers, and they are always talking when we are supposed to be doing our work.

Sometimes I want to be a part of that crowd, but I don't think you would have wanted me to.

So, I am not even going to consider it anymore.

Love ya, Mom.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dad came home last night.

I was sleeping on the couch and was wrapped in one of the traditional blankets that Auntie Kat always forces me to help her make.

Our heat went out, so it was almost as cold as the Arctic in our little ugly shack. I had on about ten shirts and socks, too. I could have slept over at one of the aunties' houses, but I really didn't want to.

I spent all day yesterday helping Auntie Krissy clean throw up, because all of her kids are sick. They always go outside and run around without their jackets, so I don't feel sorry for them. But I do feel sorry for Auntie Krissy.

Anyway, Dad came home and fixed the heater.

It is on now, so that is why I could even get my hands to move to write in my journal.

Dad told me that I still might not be able to go back into my room for awhile.

That doesn't bother me.

It is all mildewy in there anyway, but we can't do anything about it right now.

We just keep the door closed.

I don't care if I get sick.

I won't be here for very long.

I have something to tell you, Mom.

I haven't told Dad or any of his sisters yet.

I am going away.

I am not running away.

Auntie Krissy told me that if I runaway, I'd better be prepared to lay on my back a lot, because that is the only way I'll be able to make money.

However, I found out how I can run away without becoming a prostitute to make a living.

I applied to a boarding school.

There is this boarding school that gives out scholarships to well deserving Native American kids.

I applied, and I just got a letter saying that I have been accepted for next year.

Mom, I am so happy!

I went to visit Shelby at Makah last night with Auntie Kat.

Shelby is the only one that knows about the great news.

She thinks that it is good that I leave here.

I think so too, because I really don't have anyone that I like at school now that Shelby is gone.

I hate it here at the rez.

I just want better for my life.

Shelby is getting bigger now. Her stomach is starting to turn into a watermelon. It is scary.

She told me that she knows that she is not coming back to school.

She said that she might move with some of her cousins to live in Forks. That way she can get a job working somewhere, because God knows that there are no job opportunities on either of the reservations.

I am just thinking how I would like to take care of everyone that I love.

If I can make it in the real world, then I will be able to buy my little cousins ten thousand jackets that they can wear with pride. I would be able to buy my Dad a new house that doesn't flood every time it rains. I would be able to give money to Shelby and her child. I would be able to give money to my aunts.

I just have so many dreams, Mom.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

Sorry that I haven't written in awhile, Mom.

I just helped Shelby move in with her cousins.

They bought a little house that has three rooms and one bathroom.

There are three guys and five girls.

By the time Shelby's child gets here, there will be ten people living in the house.

Shelby shares a room with two of her cousins.

One of her cousins made a crib for the baby.

It is so cute!

We all were really happy to get out of the small cramped moving truck, because the first thing we did was run all around the house chasing one another when we reached Forks.

We even started a bonfire outside after we had unpacked everything.

All of Shelby's cousins drank beer, and they offered me some but I turned it down.

We all told old tribal stories, which was weird, because it felt really traditional.

After that, the guys cooked some fish that they had caught a week earlier.

They tried to get me to eat it, but I kept running away.

At night, Shelby and I slept on the couch together and just talked about life.

I think that we are both surprised at how fast everything is changing.

"Do you think that we'll ever be happy?" Shelby asked me last night.

That question was really surprising to me, because I thought that she of all people would know that real happiness doesn't exist in our world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am a little depressed, Mom.

It is hard to keep going, especially now that Shelby is really gone.

I have no one to talk to.

I just sit in every class at school and do my work.

I am just so tired of all the stupid stuff that goes on in school.

I hate listening to everyone's drama.

I hate listening to all the gossip.

It just gets on my nerves.

I just want everyone to drop off the face of the earth.

I want them all to shutup, Mom.

I just can't wait to leave.

Also, my crush is gone.

So, now school is really unbearable.

Jared has been missing from school for days.

I haven't even seen him around the reservation.

Auntie Krissy said that his mom is freaking out about the whole thing, because she doesn't even know where he is.

I just hope he comes back.

Math class is easier to get through when a cute boy is sitting next to me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx

So...Mom, just when I thought this reservation couldn't get any more crappier...it does.

There's a gang on the rez.

Let me write that again.

This stupid rez now officially has its own gang.

I really am leaving now.

Anyway, all I know is that there are three guys that all walk around shirtless and act like they own the world.

I haven't seen any of this. I just know about it because it is all everyone at school talks about.

Apparently, this gang is led by Sam Uley.

Paul Lahote is in it.

Jared is in it...

All the girls say that they've changed.

Physically speaking.

They say that Jared, Paul, and Sam all are really buff and have grown taller.

A lot of the guys already don't like the gang.

I think they just want to join, which is really stupid.

I'm done with all of this rez drama.

I got Aunt Krissy's boyfriend to take me to visit Shelby yesterday.

It is hard to get to see her, because hardly anyone on this rez owns a car, and if they do, they want ten dollars for gas money to even take you into town.

We haven't spoken in awhile, because she's been working a lot.

The last time I saw her is at the Forks Hospital when she gave birth to Ty, her son and my unofficial godson.

I babysat Ty for her while she was at work. I have to admit that even though I don't want to watch babies...a part of me enjoys it. Ty reminds me a lot of my cousins when they were younger. It is just sad that Ty is a really fussy baby, which scared me because I haven't taken care of newborn babies in awhile. I fed him, changed him, and rocked him, but he still cried. However, I realized that Ty just doesn't like strangers, because he stopped all his whining when Shelby came home and held him in her arms. Ty just wants his mom.

I feel bad that Shelby has to constantly leave him with someone else. But I also know that work is really hard on Shelby, because now that her son is born, she doesn't get to rest.

There is already drama in her house, too.

One of her cousins keeps on complaining about how the baby cries at night when she is trying to sleep.

There is so much tension in that house, that I told Shelby that I didn't want to spend the night.

Also, Shelby has a new guy.

She's thinking about moving in with him.

The only problem is that he doesn't like babies.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx

Some things have changed in my life.

1. Jared is in love with me.

Everywhere I go, he follows me.

If I walk down the hall, he walks behind me.

If I go to the bathroom, he waits outside the door.

At first I thought it was a little creepy, but I have gotten used to it now.

He can't help it.

2. I am now apart of the drama at school.

Everyone is talking about Jared and Kim.

It is really strange to hear my name in other people's mouths.

It feels weird to be the one who's name is whispered.

It feels different to be the one that people stare at.

I don't know how this all happened to me.

All I did was go to math class.

Here's how it started:

I knew that Jared was back in school, because everyone had been talking about it.

I knew that I would see him in math class.

A lot of people said that he was separating himself from his old crowd, and that he didn't speak to anyone that tried to talk to him.

I thought that is was pretty weird that he was even back at school.

Usually people who are apart of gangs don't think education is important.

So, I was sitting at my normal seat in math class.

What usually happens is that Jared will walk in with his group of friends and then head to the back of class. Then, the teacher will tell everyone to go to their assigned seats.

Jared's seat is right next to mine.

The class was being loud and boisterous as usual on the day that Jared came back.

I had my math book open, and I wasn't paying attention to anyone.

However, I did notice that the room got quiet when Jared came in to the classroom.

We all watched as he walked through the door.

It was my first time taking a look at him since his initial disappearance.

I have to admit that I was shocked at how much he had changed.

He looked like a football player and a giant all mixed into one.

He had to have known that everyone was staring at him, but he just kept his head held up high while he walked down the rows of desks.

One of his old friends called his name, but he just ignored them and didn't even give a glance to the back of the room.

He walked and sat right down in his assigned seat. It was the first time that I'd ever seen him do that.

That's when he looked at me.

All I can write is that things got pretty weird after that.

Now that I know more about Jared and his story, I can only really write that I understand it all.

However, I can't write it here out of fear that someone will find this and read this.

I really want to tell you, Mom.

But somehow, I have a feeling that you already know.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I finally got right with the time line in this story. I've decided that Jared imprints a little bit early on Kim. This way she will be able to be there for the parts when Sam destroys Emily's face, Jake's transformation, and Bella under the pack's protection for the first time.**

I've started hiding my journal.

I used to just keep it in my shoulder bag, because I didn't really need to hide it from anyone. Dad's not at the house most of the time and I learned long ago to keep any personal items that I don't want my cousins to destroy at home before I go to the aunties' houses. (One time Auntie Krissy's little Sammy went through my bag, found my journal, and tried to eat the pages).

At one point I used to think that my life was so dull that it wouldn't really matter if someone did read my journal. But things have changed since then. I have actual real secrets to keep. Secrets about our tribe that you used to tell me when I was younger, Mom. Secrets and legends that I didn't believe. So, now I have to take super duper precautions if I want to write to you.

I hide my journal outside in the empty bird house that you and I fixed up before you died. I still love to remember that day, Mom. It was one of the best days that we spent together before you died. Anyway, I had to wake up early in the morning to check the birdhouse and see if there was a bird actually living in it before I used it to hide my journal. Thankfully, now that spring is over and summer is almost here, the bird that did make a nest there is now gone. I did feel a little bit bad about taking out and destroying the nest, but it wasn't too hard because I'm not really fond of animals and nature like you were. You know that, Mom.

The reason why I had to get up really early to hide my journal is because I don't want Jared to see it. I told you about him the last time I wrote you, but I didn't really go into any detail, because I was afraid that someone might read this. However, now that I have my hiding space, I can tell you all that I want.

Jared comes over to my house every morning and is with me throughout most of the day. The only time he is not with me is when he's forced to leave me. It is really weird to have someone next to me all of the time. I used to think of my house as my little place of refuge (despite being out of a room).

Remember when I wrote that Jared can't help always following me around? Well, it is because he is bonded to me. You used to tell me all the different stories and legends about how our tribe came to be. In one story you told me that we were great whalers. In another story you told me that we are descended from wolves.

Remember those, Mom? The stories about Taha Aki and The Third Wife? I didn't believe any of those old legends...but now I do.

That is because Jared is one of the protectors of our tribe. He is one of the inheritors of Taha Aki's shape-shifting spirit. And I am like his Third Wife. I am his imprintee.

It is weird to think that Jared has no control over this need to be with me. After math class that day, he followed me into the hallway and asked if he could talk to me. I'll admit that I was a little excited that my crush was actually talking to me, but I was also a little wary of him because of all the things that were going around the rez about him.

He asked what my name was. Then he started asking me about math class, what he missed while he was gone, did I like math class, was math my favorite subject, what subject did I like, and a whole bunch of questions about my interests. I was really uncomfortable standing there staring up at this boy that I had a crush on, that I always wished would talk to me, and now was falling all over himself just to find out more about me. Then I noticed that his old friends were watching us. So, I think I said something like, "Are you going to go talk to your friends?" and he looked around as if he were trying to find someone. He even looked past his old friends like they were strangers in a crowd. He looked really confused, so I tried to help him by pointing out the group of people that he normally hung out with. He just stared at them like he didn't know who they were and looked back at me. "I don't really hang out with them anymore," He had informed me, and the expression on his face looked regretful. I thought that was pretty weird, but I told him that I had to hurry to my next class.

I went to my next class and three minutes didn't even go by before I saw Jared standing in the doorway. He told the teacher that I had been called to the front office or some crazy story that I can't really remember right now. All I know is that I ended up being excused to leave class. Of course, when I went out into the hallway with Jared, I thought that something had happened to one of the aunties or Dad. However, Jared said that he was just trying to get me out of class.

I'll admit that Jared's sudden friendliness and interest in me made me very nervous. I'm sad to admit that I also believed that the rumors about Jared being in a gang were true. I thought that the reason he was getting me out of class was because he was a "bad boy" trying to corrupt me. So, I ended up saying something along the lines of, "I don't want your drugs! Leave me alone!" and running back into my classroom.

After that weird day, I tried to avoid Jared as much as possible. But somehow he seemed to be everywhere I went. If I looked over my shoulder in the hallway, he was there staring at me. If I walked anywhere on the rez, he would be somewhere around. He was always with his "gang" during those moments. My first sight of Sam, Paul, and Jared together really did scare me. They really did look like some scary gang right out of a movie.

I lasted a week of avoiding Jared until rez gossip reached the ears of my Auntie Krissy. Jared's aunties told her about how Jared came to them for advice about how to get me to talk to him. They said that he was really messed up, because I didn't seem to want to be around him. They asked Auntie Krissy if she could help them set us up. Of course, my previous talk with Auntie Krissy came back to bite my right on the ass. She blabbed to them my whole story about how I already had a crush on Jared. So, just like I feared, all of my business was spread around the rez.

I guess what Auntie Krissy did was a good thing. Jared recently just told me that he was excited when his aunties told him that I had already liked him for a long time. He said it gave him the confidence to do what he did that upcoming week. He went to my house and knocked on my door so that I couldn't run away from him. He had said that he just wanted to talk. So, we sat on my old porch and talked.

He told me this story about his "transformation" from man to wolf and how he wasn't in a gang like everyone on the rez thought. He said that he, Sam, and Paul were actually protectors of our tribe from "the cold ones" like our legends say. I told him that I didn't really know if I believed him. He nearly grabbed me and forced me to look at him. He told me that he was going to show me something. He led me to the back of the house and near the woods. I was a little scared, but I didn't think he was going to hurt me or anything. He told me to stand still, and then he went into the woods. I remember thinking to myself, " He disappears for a few days, comes back to school looking like a complete stranger, and claims that he's a protector of our tribe. He must really be laid out on drugs". Then I had heard this horrible sound like something was being ripped a part. Then, out of the woods came this humongous brown animal. I think I had screamed so loud that I could have uprooted the trees. I had ran back towards the house, went into the closet, and grabbed the loaded shot gun Dad keeps in there. Then I went into you and Dad's room.

I went in there for the first time since you died. I had pushed the dresser that your father made you when you were a teenager up against the door. I ran to your side of the bed, lifted up the quilt, and crawled in. I kept the shot gun pointed at the door, because I knew there was no use in trying to run away from a animal that huge. I knew, because even if you run, the animal will get you. I knew, because I believe that you tried to run, Mom. You tried to run before that animal that killed you could hurt you.

Anyway, Mom. That's how Jared found me. He had to calm me down, but he explained to me that the animal out there was him. That he was that gigantic wolf that had just stared me down.

I still didn't really believe him until he took me to meet all of the tribal elders. I guess everyone thought it would be best if Sue Clearwater explained to me about imprinting and how it works. I'll admit, Mom. I wasn't really happy to learn that I'm expected to one day be Jared's wife. I like Jared. I really do. However, when I went back home that night...I guess I realized what all of it really meant.

I thought of the way Jared never seemed to want to let me out of his sight. I thought of how no matter how bad he wanted to, Jared would never be able to leave the rez. I thought of what that means for me as his imprintee. As his soulmate, I am expected to be like the second half of him. A sinking feeling sat in my stomach as I realized that I didn't really know Jared. Why was I so stupid to have a crush on a boy that barely even glanced at me or paid any attention to me? And now, here he is...bound to me by some weird tribal magic. Be careful what you wish for...right, Mom?

I thought to myself, "Yes, he is cute, but do I really want to be someone's forced choice?". I thought to myself, "Why couldn't Jared like me or pay attention to me before he changed into a werewolf?" "What was wrong with me then?".

I know that Jared is forced to be with me. I know that, Mom. He couldn't decide it and he can't get rid of it. He has to be with me, but that doesn't mean I have to be with him. I still have plans, Mom. I don't want to be trapped on this rez. Why should I? Should I do it, because people say that I have to or should I do it, because I've finally gotten the boy of my dreams attention?

I don't know, Mom. All I know is that I still have my acceptance letter to the boarding school. I still want to leave.

I still haven't told anyone. And the person that did know no longer talks to me. Shelby is gone. I kept calling her and she never answered her phone, so I paid ten dollars to somebody that was heading out that way to take me over there. One of her cousin's answered the door and told me that Shelby disappeared. He said that they haven't heard from her either. Then, when I asked about Ty, he said that they had to give him to social services, because no one in the family was "at a place where they can take care of him right now". I left that house that day feeling like there was no hope in humanity.

I can't talk. I bet Dad would have given me up to social services after you died, Mom. Luckily for him, I was twelve years old and I knew how to take care of myself by then.

So, Jared is the only person I have left outside of the aunties that I have to talk to. Of course, I can't tell them about my new problems without having to go into detail.

Don't get me wrong, Mom. Jared is nice. He is. He can't help that he always wants to follow me around and be wherever I am. He likes to play board games and card games. He's really good at solitaire. He taught me how to play Mancala, Monopoly, and Jenga. He told me that one of his uncles runs the Tribal Center and forced him to work there for awhile after he and some friends broke in one night and damaged the place. That is why he knows how to play countless of games. He is really good with kids, too. All of the little cousins love him. All of the aunties can probably already see him holding our child in his arms.

I think that now when I go to the aunties' houses, I get really somber. I look at them and watch them as they all talk about rez gossip, kids, the lack of money, and men. Now, when I hold one of my cousins or clean up their messes...I start to wonder if this is all I have to look forward to.

Reservation life.

That's why I don't want Jared to find this journal, Mom. Some things and thoughts should just be kept to yourself. You are the only person I can trust to not tell anyone about these horrible thoughts that I have in my head.


End file.
